


something deep inside me, i can't give up

by Hazloveshisboo



Series: We Know Where We Belong [7]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: A little bit of angst, Bucky officially joins the Avengers, Fluff, M/M, Non-Serum Steve Rogers/Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes | Shrinkyclinks, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes, bucky describes how he got away from hydra
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-05
Updated: 2018-05-05
Packaged: 2019-05-02 17:19:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14549535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hazloveshisboo/pseuds/Hazloveshisboo
Summary: Nick Fury isn't as dead as Bucky thought and he makes a hard decision.





	something deep inside me, i can't give up

**Author's Note:**

> thank you all for reading and commenting on all these fics! This one is how Bucky joins the Avengers
> 
> title from Fireproof by One Direction

Bucky was having a normal day before Nick Fury decided to intervene. Bucky was sitting in the corner of a nondescript coffee shop reading a book he picked up from second hand shop when a man dressed in black leather with sunglasses sat in front of him. Bucky glanced up, pursing his lips and narrowing his eyes in what Steve dubbed his ‘murder glare’. 

“Can I help you?” Bucky asked tightly. 

“Maybe. Maybe not. Do you know who I am?” the man asked and looked at Bucky, tilting his head down to reveal a scarred and blinded eye. Bucky’s breath hitched.

“Fury. I thought I killed you,” Bucky kept his voice calm and low.

“You almost did but I always have a few tricks up my sleeve,” Fury pushed the sunglasses back into place. “I know you escaped from Hydra over a year ago. Project Insight was dismantled, Pierce was killed, and soon enough Hydra strongholds all over the world started going up in flames.” 

“What do you want, Fury?” Bucky asked, sitting up and crossing his arms. “Why are you here?”

“First I want to know how you did it,” Fury shrugged. “Then we’ll get to what I really found you for.” Bucky rolled his eyes and fixated on the adjacent wall for a moment before looking back to Fury.

“They left me out of cryo too long, didn’t wipe me either. They had to use the chair so much because my brain would start fixing itself after a few days. I was with…Rumlow and he said something about Brooklyn, some offhand comment and something in me just snapped. I shoved my fist through his chest, took out the rest of the team and ran. Started remembering a few days later. It started with more recent stuff, about Insight and Hydra and I knew I had to stop it, I wanted to stop it – if only to fuck over Alexander Pierce. So, I did. With some unnecessary help from you Avengers, we took down the helicarriers, but you know that. Then it was over, and I kept remembering stuff, different locations they kept me, missions I had, so I took them all out. Everyone I could find and everyone I could remember.” 

“Quite a task for just one man-” Fury started.

“But I’m not just one man, Fury, am I? I’m the Winter Soldier, I’m the deadliest assassin the world has ever seen and even though I’m not Hydra’s pet anymore, I’ve still got all that training. And you want it. That’s why you’re here, isn’t it?” Bucky sat back in his chair and scoffed. “Trying to recruit me for, what? SHIELD? Thought that went down with the helicarriers?” 

“The Avengers, actually,” Fury corrected. “Not only were you the best sniper in World War II, you have seventy years of combat experience. You excel in weapons and hand-to-hand, along with strategic and tactical planning. I would be a fool to not give it a shot.” 

“And if I say no?” Bucky asked. 

“I walk away. I forget I ever saw you and you forget you ever saw me,” Fury set down a flash drive on the table. “I’ll give you some time to think about it. Maria Hill is the woman you’ll need to find when you’ve decided.” With that Fury stood and exited the building, only Bucky paying him any attention. Bucky grabbed the flash drive and shoved it into his pocket before grabbing his book. He waited a few more minutes before leaving the coffee shop. He walked down the street, heading to the nearest branch of the New York public library, making his way over to one of the computer desks. He plugged in the flash drive and, after getting through a few encryptions and firewalls, he had access to the files. There was a profile on each current Avenger, as well as all their missions, both solo and as teams. At least Fury understood Bucky would need every piece of information before deciding. 

Bucky looked through everything carefully, combing through every mission report and debriefing. He read each profile thoroughly, taking note of the Avengers that were most dangerous. Romanov and Barton were the best trained in espionage and combat and were the only two without any kind of enhancement, barring Stark but he had the suit. The female Maximoff seemed extremely powerful, as did Thor, but Maximoff had also been experimented on by Hydra and Thor was a literal god. They seemed like a team that could get along, that he could get along with if only during missions. He did not really care for how he felt about them outside of work and he did not care to know them – that was reserved for Steve and Steve only.

Steve.

He would need to talk to Steve about this. It was one thing to date a retired assassin who only got involved in small crimes around the neighborhood; it was a different thing entirely to date an Avenger. Bucky sighed and pulled the flash drive from the port and left the library, nodding politely at the old woman at the circulation desk as he passed. He made his way directly to Steve’s building, letting himself in to sit on the couch. His boyfriend was at a consultation for the afternoon. Bucky settled himself down on the couch to wait. 

Less than an hour later, Steve walked through the door. Bucky moved for first time since he sat down, turning to watch Steve. 

“Hey Buck,” Steve said, dropping his bag and kicking off his shoes. “What are you doing here? Thought we had plans for Friday?” 

“We did. We do,” Bucky shook his head. “I need to talk to you about something. Something big.”

“Oh,” Steve looked a little taken aback as he sat down on the couch next to Bucky. “How big?”

“Nick Fury wants me to join the Avengers,” Bucky sighed and handed Steve the flash drive. “Came up to me today and gave me that. Told me he wanted me to join and talk to Maria Hill.” 

“Wow,” Steve took the drive and looked down at it. “What’s on this?”

“The entire Avenger’s Initiative file, it seems like. Every mission they’ve ever been on, reports and debriefings, profiles on each of them, press releases, ledgers. Anything I would want to know,” Bucky explained, not meeting Steve’s eyes. 

“So extremely confidential information. Stuff that could probably get every single Avenger killed. And he just gave it to you?” Steve speculated. “Why?”

“Because he knows I’m going to say yes,” Bucky answered with an amused huff. “Fucker did his research.”

“Are you? Going to say yes, I mean?” Steve asked softly, moving closer to Bucky. He tossed the drive onto the coffee table and took Bucky’s hands.

“I have to,” Bucky said, swallowing hard. “Steve, what I did all those years…” 

“You didn’t have a choice, Buck, it wasn’t you,” Steve insisted, reaching up to force Bucky to look at him.

“But I still did it. It was still my hands that pulled the trigger or held the knife. And I remember them, Steve. I remember every single one of them,” Bucky smiled weakly. “I have to make up for that. I can’t fix what I’ve done, can’t bring back the people I’ve killed. But I can stop others from dying. I’m the highest trained soldier in existence and I would be wasting myself if I didn’t do something about that.”

“Okay,” Steve said. “Join the Avengers. I’ll support you whatever you decide, as long as its you making that decision.”

“What about you, Stevie? Are you going to be okay, being with an Avenger? The second I join that team, my chances of survival drop,” Bucky squeezed Steve’s hands. “I don’t want to put you through that.” 

“You don’t get to choose that for me, Buck. And of course, I still want to be with you. My heart could give out tomorrow and you’re still here. I’m going to be there for you the same way,” Steve leaned forward and kissed him gently. “I love you, Buck,” he whispered against Bucky’s lips. Bucky smiled gratefully and tucked his head in Steve’s neck.

“Guess I gotta find that Maria Hill now.”

***  
It only took Bucky an hour and some change to find Maria once he actively started looking the next day. Officially she worked at Stark Industries as Head of Security, unofficially, she and Fury were the directors and handlers of the Avengers. He made an appointment with her the following day under an alias and then broke into a clothing store over night and stole a nice suit he could wear to keep up appearances. He got to the necessary floor with no incident and was soon called back to Hill’s office and when he stepped in and closed the door behind him, he was not surprised that she wasn’t surprised it was him.

“I’m assuming you were waiting for me?” he asked as he sat down in the chair in front of her desk. 

“Of course, my boss made it clear that you were a very important visitor,” Maria smiled politely in a way that reminded Bucky of a snake. She was dangerous and smart, vicious in a way only women could be. 

“Simply just showing up here is my answer, I suppose?” Bucky asked, continuing the vague charade they had going. 

“Oh, yes,” Maria nodded and slid a yellow envelope across the desk. “This is all you’ll need. I believe you have something that belongs to me?” Bucky pulled the flash drive from his pocket and set it down next to a picture frame, picking up the envelope as he stood. 

“I’m sure I’ll see you soon,” Bucky said as he tucked the envelope into his suit jacket. “Have a nice day, Miss Hill.” 

“Have a nice day, Mr. Rogers,” Maria replied as Bucky left the office and walked back to the elevator. He went back to Steve’s apartment as planned, meeting his boyfriend there. He dropped onto the couch as soon as he arrived and yanked the envelope out of his jacket and open, dumping the contents into his hand. It was nothing but a cell phone. He turned it over in his hand – no branding. It must be something Stark made. He powered it up as Steve came out of the bathroom. 

“Hey Buck. How did the meeting go?” he asked, coming over to sit with Bucky. 

“Good. She gave me this,” he held up the phone. It displayed a bright red Avenger’s logo over a black background – Stark’s doing, Bucky’s sure – with a few icons, one with a notification. He tapped it and it opened to something akin to email with a message giving a date, time, and location. “What do you think I’ll be doing?” Bucky asked, looking at Steve. Steve’s eyes were dark and hooded, and he was biting his lip.

“I don’t really care,” Steve muttered and took the phone, dropping it onto the floor. “What I need you to do is fuck me in that suit before I go crazy.” 

***  
Bucky was going to kill Fury. Or Stark. Or Hill. Someone. Whoever set this up. 

The time, date, and location he was given was for a party. Of sorts. 

It was his introduction to the Avengers. 

He had arrived fifteen minutes before to the Avengers Tower back entrance where a blonde woman was waiting – Pepper Potts, CEO of Stark Industries – and so far, she was the only one he liked. She led him inside and upstairs to the residential floors. They didn’t speak in the elevator on the way up and for that Bucky was grateful. Only when it stopped did Pepper turn to him. 

“I’m sorry for what’s about to happen. I tried to stop him but once Tony gets an idea in his head, well, it’s like trying to stop a train on its tracks,” Pepper smiled softly. Bucky’s eyes widened as the doors opened and he was met with every Avenger. Most were sitting around the room, on couches, chairs, or counters, but Tony Stark was standing right by the elevator bay. 

“Hello Winter Soldier!” Tony cried out and flung his arm over Bucky’s shoulder as soon as he stepped into the room. “Welcome to the team, Terminator!” 

Maybe Bucky made a mistake.

**Author's Note:**

> my tumblr
> 
> as always, if there is anything you want to request for this verse just comment or sent me a message on tumblr!


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